Easter was rough all around.. Last summer before she was born, I kept thinking how she will be around 8 months and would be sitting up, crawling, and so much fun this spring... I had no idea.. none of her "spring" clothes fit her.. she is only weighing 9lbs 3oz, so she is still in 0-3months... holidays are hard.. I want so bad for her to be happy, even if she cant be healthy.. My friend Melissa has a daughter Karina, who has the same thing as Ella.. and I found it interesting that on her carepage she tells of how rough last Easter was for them and it was exactly how this Easter was for us.. I am praying next Easter Ella will have a better time :)
Granny, papa jim and some of the grandkids
a quick pose before we left..
It seemed like alot of other people had other stuff, so there weren't as many kids as normal.. I think Cayden and Zane got a little bored..
I am thankful to have had another holiday with her.. and pray so hard for more and more.. the Lord has blessed us abundantly with our 2 kids.. although life since Ella coming has not been what I planned.. I am thankful... for every second, every minute and every hour... I think of the poem below... its not what we planned...its what HE planned.... there is a reason for this.. we just may not be able to comprehend it at this time.. maybe its a miracle for her? What a testimony that would be, right?! We don't know what is in store for us, but for now, for today...we are thankful..
still smiling.. sweet baby...
~~~~I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.
written by~Emily Perl Kingsley