friends..

I am so thankful for the few remaining friends that I have..

Erin~who has been there with me 100% on this journey..she is my best friend, and my confidant.. she is my crying partner, and the best girl I could ever ask for. We skipped school together in high school, worked at the same daycare and wreaked havoc on our co-workers and is just more than I could ask for. She was there when Ella was born and there when Ella passed..during the night before Ella passed she had stayed with me at the hospital so Jay could come get the things we needed and bring Cayden back up the next morning.. she took care of Cayden after he got there, she took him for a walk outside and just loved on him until we could collect ourselves..She also let him stay with them while we were inpatient the several times before.. Cayden loves her, tony and Elizabeth as they were blood, and so do Jay and I..we are so thankful for Erin and Elizabeth and so thankful Tony now completes their family and make them so happy..its an answered prayer..

Amanda My childhood and still best friend! We started hanging out when we were about 12, she has been a constant in my life..she is the friend to look me in the face and tell me "you are wrong" she is so honest with me. I remember when we were early teens and went out to mexican and I ordered a burger and fries.. she tried to talk me into a burrito or just to try something different, and I refused..she made fun of me for this for years after.. and now mexican is my favorite!!(ironic) we laughed our teenage years away while talking to boys down the street..We got lost in Tulsa after she first got her drivers license..went to church together, and have been through so much.. she moved to California after her mom passed about 7 years ago.. we've been through the loss of a very good friend in high school, her mom (whom I loved so much and was my 2nd mom for as long as I could remember) shortly after high school and the loss of Ella.. She called me about a week before Ella passed and I remember just crying with her on the other side of the phone "she's not well, she is tired..I don't think we'll have her much longer" and though she was in california, I could feel her with me.. we have had our ups and downs, but she is my constant..she is my sister.

my cousin Amanda she is my cousin/sister, boogie nights watching(thanks to Reuben) , dr. Pepper searching, laughing til we cry and sleeping all day cousin/sister..her mom and my mom became best friend in jr high.. her mom then married her dad. (my uncle) She was an only child and all of my best childhood memories include her. We were not just cousins, but best friends all of her life.. I am so incredibly protective of her and miss her so much when we arent together.. We lived in California for a little while when I was in 3rd grade and I remember crying and telling my mom that I would die without Amanda..yes..die.. I was a little dramatic.. our reunion was a reunion of the ages..:) She has been all over the map with her schooling and I am so proud of her. Cayden has always loved her and clicked like a piece of a puzzle with her.. she doesn't even mind his constant chattering. Ella loved her, but was confused by her.. I don't know if she saw a resemblance in us or what, but she always stared at her with a puzzled look. I am so thankful for Amanda and her mom, Becky (whom I have discussed in passing before) I am thankful for the fun, laughs and everything else amanda brings to the table..


I have some more I may come in and add to here in just a bit, but I better get back to work for now.. so Keyla, Mandi and my SIL Jessica.. I am thankful for you ladies too.. for the love and support, and being there for me this past year.. hugs to you all!




Friendship Quotes

is it ever enough?

I always think about if I did enough for Ella while she was still on this earth..did I hold her enough? love on her and talk to her enough? What about Cayden, have I done enough for him? If I were to die today, would he know that he holds my heart? I think about Mito and think about how it robbed me of my daughter, of the life she should have had, the sister and daughter she was.. What can I do to be active in helping find a cure?? Constantly, I think of fund raisers..to help find a cure, to help my friend Trisha and her sweet boy Jace.. I need to do more..

My cousin Amanda wrote a great post.. she and I have talked about her job before, and her goals to do more when she has all of her credentials, but in the mean time, she feels like she is lacking.. not doing enough for these kids.. I think for most, its never enough, or it should never be enough to be where you are.. who am I if I don't have some sort of goals, something to reach for? Amanda, you are doing a great job, and I love you so much for your empathetic and sweet soul! my beautiful siser cousin :)

Branson was fun..

Although it was Freezing cold!! Erin, Tony, Ebeth and us went on Friday night and ate at shorty smalls in Branson Landing and walked around and did a little shopping.. Saturday my mom and Aunt Becky met us at our room and we went to lunch and then off to Silver Dollar City.. which was CRAZY busy.. We were told that Saturday was a record setting day! and I believe it.. After the parade and snacks and fun we were off to catch the bus to our cars.. so I thought.. an hour later of waiting in line and trying to keep the kiddos warm, we finally boarded the bus to our cars, grabbed a bite and went and defrosted before bed :) and of course outlet shopping on Sunday.. Ella was so good all weekend, especially after all the time spent in the car seat and stroller.. anyway here are a few pics


this is how poor Ella spent most of her weekend.. all trapped inside.. snug as a bug in a rug though..

this is what she did when her cocoon was opened.. she was taken back by all the lights and movement around her..


I am so glad Cayden had Elizabeth to do things with this time.. they had a blast together... silly kids were crazy..



they were pretending they were falling off of the bench.. haha..


we did let the baby out some.. for some quick kisses and hugs and then back in out of the cold real fast..

this is where we stayed.. its a resort/hotel/ time share community called westgate.. is was so nice and very affordable



I am so glad Erin and Tony went with us. .always tons of laughs and fun.. love you guys!

the bat kids..

Cayden was batman and Ella was bat baby this Halloween.. we went trick or treating here in town with Erin, Tony and Elizabeth, and my cousin Charity and her baby Joey.. and Erins mom and my mom came along for the fun too :)

C was hot in his mask.. he didnt keep it on very long at all.. :)






Joey was a little less than thrilled with the whole experience.. at least we were having fun though :)

Forcast calls for showers ahead!!

This last Saturday was a crazy busy day. Erin, my mom and Nancy threw me a beautiful shower for Ella. We had a good turn out and a very good time! I am so thankful for good friends and family..



Erin made the cutest shower book ( which was a great idea..she wrote the gifts and who they were from and plenty of room for pics!) and invites.. I thought she was going to have to kill someone up at hobby lobby when they didnt order the card stock she requested! But all turned out well and nobody was harmed!!

the vegas baby cake =) I thought it was adorable!! and tasty to boot!!

Granny made the pink and brown OU blanket we LOVE it.. Cayden has one that she made for him when he was a baby and still uses it all the time!!

Glenda (erins mom), Erin andNancy and Elizabeth working hard on passing out the cake and punch! Everything was so smooth, I couldnt have asked for anything better!



We played a game and Erin and her mom froze these little alien looking babies in ice trays.. they put one in each cup and the first person to melt the ice (without touching it) and have the baby, had to yell "MY WATER BROKE!" kinda creepy, but OH so funny.. my cousin Katie was the winner.. wierd little things arent they?



thanks Erin for all of the hard work and time and especially the thought you put into the shower for us! I cant wait to throw one for you and baby parks in the next year or two.. :)






Later that evening another one of Erins friends and myself hosted a personal shower for her at her moms.. she is such a great sport about everything.. I must admit, way better than myself.. =) I had way more "rules" for my shower than she did..

Erin and her cute cake!!




The game we had for this was to decorate a pair of "honeymoon" panties and Erin had to pic out her favorites and model them.. this is her family and friends working on them.. BTW.. I think her memaw had more fun than anyone doing this!! I loved it!!




Did I mention they were granny panties?? they were all hilarious...


so hilarious, that she could only narrow it down to the top 3! this is Rachelle, Janet and Erin modeling them.. the ones erin has on says "I love mom" you could guess who made those!!





she got lots of cute and fun stuff! and we had tons of laughs!




Now we just wait a few days for the wedding and 5 weeks and 2 days til we meet Isabella!!

5 reasons Cayden has the #1 dad!!

1. Dad always takes care of us..



2. Dad takes me to work with him and orders Jumbos!! my favorite!



3. Dad plays games with me and lets me play his 360..


4. He is always really fun, especially like when he shoots me with bows and arrows! and he'll ride all the rides with me when we go places like silver dollar city!




5. Because he is the best dad in the world!!


and not to mention the best husband! Sometimes its like having another kid with him, but I wouldn't have it any other way!! He provides me with unconditional love and is always good to make us laugh.. We love you so much Jay!! Happy Fathers Day!!!