Saturday, October 3, 2009

is it ever enough?

I always think about if I did enough for Ella while she was still on this earth..did I hold her enough? love on her and talk to her enough? What about Cayden, have I done enough for him? If I were to die today, would he know that he holds my heart? I think about Mito and think about how it robbed me of my daughter, of the life she should have had, the sister and daughter she was.. What can I do to be active in helping find a cure?? Constantly, I think of fund raisers..to help find a cure, to help my friend Trisha and her sweet boy Jace.. I need to do more..

My cousin Amanda wrote a great post.. she and I have talked about her job before, and her goals to do more when she has all of her credentials, but in the mean time, she feels like she is lacking.. not doing enough for these kids.. I think for most, its never enough, or it should never be enough to be where you are.. who am I if I don't have some sort of goals, something to reach for? Amanda, you are doing a great job, and I love you so much for your empathetic and sweet soul! my beautiful siser cousin :)

2 comments:

Franchesca Cox said...

I know what you mean about wondering if you did enough. I often think those thoughts too, they are so harsh. Like you said, it's never enough. There seems to be endless need out there for babylost mamas/parents... and cures. I am glad you have the desire to do something in honor of Ella's life. You are already helping us babylost mamas just by sharing yours and Ella's story. Love to the sky

XX

Mary said...

Lukas spent 9 months in my womb and 23 days here with me. I feel sometimes that he never really knew how much he meant to me. I feel I didn't have enough time to show him either.