Sunday, August 8, 2010

oh little girl, how you break my heart...

       Last weekend Jay, Cayden, and myself had plans to go to the lakehouse and to my family reunion just a few miles away on Saturday. We were going to leave around 4pm and get there early enough to go into town and grab a few things from the store and to go by a redbox. Around 2pm I get a call from DHS (earlier that day, I had a call asking if I could take a 7 and 11 year old boy, which I couldn't) so I see the call and think to myself, to let it go to voice mail, because they were just going to ask me to talk a child that we could not take again.. But I answered anyway and our worker put his supervisor on and she told me that there is a 6 month old baby girl that is being discharged from the hospital that needs placement.. We had already committed to going to the lake and my bro and SIL were staying too..plus it was 100+ degrees.. so I told her I could pick her up Monday morning when we returned..here is what I knew, she was caucasion, 6 months old, has a displaced knee and 2 breaks in her fibia..and no one knows what happened. Supposedly mom took her to the ER because her leg was swollen from mesquito bites, the doctor xray'd and well here we were looking for a placement. When addressed mom said that they had family over one night and it was possible that one of the kids did something to her..
     We pick her up on Monday from the shelter (which I felt HORRIBLE about,  probably should have went friday before we left)  We get her and she had on a onsie and a little bag of other onsies the shelter was sending for her. Now we all know when it comes to girl stuff, I am SET UP.. I had a bag in the car, we went to Jays mom's office and cleaned her up and got her into something cute.. She was smiling and so sweet, when I put the little bow on her head, she laughed and waved her arms..I said 'bows make everything better, don't they!?' and she agree'd :) we fell in love before we got her home, we stopped and grabbed some more bottles, binkies, wipes, and a few new toys. You would think because of her leg that she would be grouchy, but not one bit. She was quiet and reserved the first day. I laid her down about 10 pm and around 6am she woke up, took a bottle and went back to sleep til 10!!  I kept checking on her, and making sure she was breathing..apparently she is a good sleeper..and has slept all night every night..
    Thursday she had an appt in OKC with an ped ortho surgeon and he did some xrays and examination, and she screamed like she was in agony and my heart broke..and then he said "what happened to her arm?" excuse me? her arm? no, its her leg.. he then proceeded to tell me that she has an old healing fracture in her right humerus..old fracture? no, she is only 6 months.. I felt my blood rise, she was still unconsolable, and I was going to cry or vomit, I didn't know which.. She needs surgery to repair her leg, not sure when that will be.. and her arm is going to be looked at closer this week, but there really is nothing to do, since they think it happened in April (again, a child pulled on her arm per mom) The doctor told her advocate that sweet pea medically speaking 'is a mess' but she's not..she is so cute, sweet and absolutely hilarious..and we love her already..
   We know that her arm has been broken, her leg all jacked up, she wasn't eating solids until this week (which she LOVES eating!) she was filthy upon exam, the back of her head is flat as if she's laid her entire life in a crib,she can't sit up at all, she doesn't like to be snuggled very much..we also know her body is broken but her spirit is not..she smiles with just a look at her, she jabbers and she makes this little lamb noise because we laugh every single time.. we know we've had this girl for less than a week and would do anything for her...our little sweet pea...oh little girl, how you break my heart, and how you fill it with joy at the same time...
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oh..and we also know her mom is 4.5 months pregnant again..beautiful right? just what they need..

14 comments:

PB&J said...

what an incredible story and you are amazing.. This little girl.. this light. so much to give. thank you for all that you are doing..

Lori said...

Bless her sweet little soul. I'm a CASA and I have a very, very, very hard time being objective. I get SO angry about these situations.

Poor, poor little sweet pea. Thank goodness she's able to feel a bit like normal SHOULD feel like.

And pregnant mommy. Super.

Kelly said...

Thank you for taking this little girl and giving her the love and the care that she's so clearly been lacking.

Elizabeth said...

Broken arm? Broken leg? And mom doesn't know what happened? And she's prego again? There should be a law that if you abuse a child you should be fixed so you can't have anymore to abuse.

God Bless you for taking this baby into your home and loving her. *hugs*

Soko's Journey to Parenthood said...

What a blessing she is and so happy she is with you both to learn what love really is all about.

It breaks my heart to hear she has gone through so much so soon in her little life. She is a fighter for sure and she will heal and learn to be happy with all the love and joy you will bring into her life.

The sad part is her mother is pregnant again and if the state cares for these little ones they will take that baby as soon as it's born. Just doesn't make sense how people can treat these precious miracles so horribly.

Bless you and your hubby for taking in this Angel. I will pray for all of you that healing and peace come your way every day.

Enjoy and love the heck out of her :)

Christy said...

I honestly don't know how you do it.
You are such a beautiful person-thinking of you and sweet pea and beuatiful Ella

Mary said...

You are exactly what that sweet little girl needs. You are doing a beautiful job saving this little girl.

Franchesca said...

You are truly a beautiful heart for taking in this precious little girl. Her story is so heartbreaking. thank you for sharing her with us.

xx

With Out My Punkin said...

((hugs)) you are doing such a hard job. I would like to go to her mother and do a few not very nice things... why or why :(

Stephanie said...

Oh my goodness!!!! I hope and pray that precious little girl never ever has to go back to that home again. It would be nice if she could just stay with you :)

Bless you for what you are doing! You are truly making a difference and giving her a safe place to fall. Love you!

Heidi said...

Oh no, poor baby. Its hard to imagine what she's been through in her short life...Ill never understand why. SO HAPPY she's in good hands tonight, in your loving arms. What a blessing she is, praying for healing.
Heidi & Jack.

brigette said...

Oh my goodness!! How terrible. I am so glad that they found someone like you to keep her safe!! How amazing you are to help heal her!

Nan & Mike said...

Jen, I have tears, you and your family are amazing to be able to help this little girl, she soooo needs someone such as yourselves in her life. I don't know how you are doing this, but you are amazing, bless your heart, and thank you for sharing. I wish this Mother could 'see' what she has done. *sigh*
Love, Nan xxx

sara/emerging butterfly said...

Oh wow...to think of it all just breaks me in two. Thank you for giving sweet pea another chance. It makes me sick to think of how I've criticized SO heavily for having a large family when over population is an ever looming problem. But I LOVE my children! I know TONS of mamas that are BEAUTIFUL mothers...It isn't THEM that's a problem...its women who get pregnant with babies they are so unhappy about that they actually HURT them. Oh wow...my blood BOILS. Just to smell their hair...to touch soft skin...to hold them close and share a smile. Thank you for doing this.
I hope there is a special place for people like her mother...I'd hate to think one could get away with such behavior for eternity.