Tuesday, July 27, 2010

rainbow for a weekend....

Friday morning we got a call to come and pick up a sweet 2 month old baby boy. We brought him home and loved on him all weekend. He cooed, jabbered and has the sweetest smiles. On Saturday night, I held him and fought back the tears as I remembered holding sweet Ella so many nights, begging God to heal her tiny body and let us keep her..I looked down at him and not only felt sad for us, but for him.. how could someone have such a precious gift and not move Heaven and Hell to do whatever needed done for this sweet little guy..I obviously can't go into details, but I just.did.not.get.it...and I finally had to remind myself, how its not for us to understand. its for us to help and love them when we can.. while there in our home, we'll do the moving for these sweet children..Monday morning I took the little man for his visit with his mother and a another family picked him up and took him home with them. I then came home and took a 5 hour nap! yes, 5 hours!! Sweet little guy wore me smoooooth out! It was so nice to have a sweet little rainbow for the weekend..for now, we will wait for the next call and placement.. we did talk to the worker about only little girls from here on out though.. everything we have is pink, purple, flowers and butterflies..

On another note, I am behind again on reading blogs, facebook and everything..I've hit a wall the past few weeks..Ella's birthday is less than a month away.. She should be here, she should be turning two and having the best little princess party ever..I miss her so much I just can't stand it..I can't believe that it was 2 years ago that we were so excited to finally have our girl that we'd prayed for..I would have never in a million years imagined that we would watch her suffer lose her and bury her before her 1st birthday.. what I would not give to go back to that time and bask in our ignorance...((sigh))

11 comments:

Franchesca said...

Oh Jen, I'm so sorry. I know these days coming up will be hard. I wish you could have thrown that beautiful princess party for her too. Thinking about you and your sweet Ella.

You know what, I'll bet she still gets a party in Heaven!
xx

Kelly said...

I know these coming days are going to be especially difficult for you. I hope your sweet Ella is looking down on you and can offer you comfort through your tears.

Just Breathe said...

How nice of you to help a child in need. It's a very kind and generous gift you are giving to them. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. ((HUGS))

Lori said...

Will definitely be lifting you up in the coming days...and praying for that sweet little boy that the adults in his life GET.THEIR.ACT.TOGETHER!

I'm a CASA and I see stuff that just makes me want to STRANGLE the parents!!!!

It's hard to be unbiased.

littleharves said...

i'm so happy you get to help other children in need, you are truly a wonderful mother . keeping you and ella in my thoughts and sending much love xxx anne

Stephanie said...

Oh goodness - I'm glad you had that time this weekend and I'm hoping you get a longer placement soon - if that's what you want of course. I can't imagine how tired you must of been - a 5 hour nap sounds so nice. That's a nights sleep for me most days :)

Thinking of you in these coming days. Know that you're on my mind and in my prayers. Hugs

Malory said...

You have such a big heart & I am so happy you will be sharing it with others. My husband & I plan on becoming foster parents in a few years. Something we have always wanted to do.

I know the weeks ahead will be tough. You will be close in thoughts.

PB&J said...

what a wonderful gift you are giving.... and getting. Amazing

Holly said...

The upcoming days can be tough and I'll be thinking and praying for you!

With Out My Punkin said...

((hugs)) thinking of you and Ella. She will be having a very pretty princess party in heaven I bet. I think its wonderful you are opening your heart and home to little ones who need it!

Mary said...

You are honoring Ella in a beautiful way by helping those innocent little ones who can't help themselves.

Praying that these coming days are easy on you.