Wednesday, June 24, 2009

So wrong Wednesday......

clarification~ I am not saying that parents do not have the right to discipline their children and the right to feel frustrated or upset.. I am not perfect, I am not the perfect mother.. the wal mart scenario though, was upsetting for me, the way she handled her children was not okay..she was grabbing their arms and pulling them out and being loud and very was not just a reprimand.. I have been guilty of leaning down in public and giving Cayden a soft, but stern warning that he better straighten up. He does still get in trouble from time to time and is still most certainly expected to behave and show respect.. I also have times where I have to tell him to just "give me a few minutes please".. my point is that I know it is natural for every parent to have times to gripe, to feel agitated or long as it is handled appropriately.. I was telling one of my friends that when Ella was sick and crying so much, I would feel so frustrated and appear angry, but it was not at was because I was angry at the I feel bad about it.. I should have just chilled out and held her.. I know my emotions did not help sooth her any faster.. but I am only human too.. and I have and had the right to feel what I feel at that moment.. I however do not have the right to physically and verbally abuse my children.. no one does... anyway..I just wanted to clarify a few things ;)
I made up wrong Wednesday because I can't do wordless without sharing my story about yesterday..
Yesterday I went to water the sod on Ella's grave and as I was sitting there I was thinking how sorry I was that I was watering my 10 month old's grave instead of teaching her to walk, eat new things, etc etc.. I started bawling finished up and came home. I laid on the couch crying for God to either take me home with her or at least make the pain more tolerable.. Neither happened, so I got myself back to "sane" and Jay came home and we had a few things to do before Stephen, Jess and the boys came over for dinner and swimming. Still feeling sad and completely blah, (yes that is a feeling) we were at Wal-Mart and in the next lane a lady with 2 young boys caught our attention. She was dragging them by their arms and telling them what brats they are and just being so inappropriate.. We had been standing in line for several minutes and they were running their hands up and down the coolers, but otherwise not doing anything.. Jay and I shared a glance and stood in silence... I just wanted to slap her or shake some sense into her.. she has NO idea how lucky she is.. and no idea of the meaning of tact obviously.. I'm certain Jay and I were thinking the same thing... how wrong it is that we are watering sod on our daughters grave and how wrong it is that people don't appreciate their children..


Heather said...

I was just thinking about you a few minutes ago and hit the refresh button and there was this post.

I am so sad for you. It is truely heartbreaking to read your story about sweet Ella. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers.


Stacy said...

One of my kids was acting up one day and I said to my brother they were acting like brats. He just looked at me and I thought to myself here is my poor brother who lost his little boy and I am complaining about my child acting up and his child is gone.
Some people don't know how lucky they are to be blessed with children.

Still praying for you and the family