Monday, September 13, 2010

Lord, fill this coat...

December 26, 2008, Jay and I went shopping with his mom. We returned a few things, spent some gift cards, grabbed lunch, all with our healthy beautiful baby girl in tow. She loved to shop, to be pushed in the stroller, she'd just watch everyone and enjoyed the change of scenery as well as the strangers doting over how perfect she was. We had no clue at that time what was going on inside of her tiny body, we had no clue that just a few days later, we'd be sitting in the PICU praying for God to spare her life.. While in one of the stores we spotted this, and Nancy wanted to get it for her, even though it was big at the time, she could wear it in a few winters..so here we are fall, a few months will turn to winter, and guess who is not here to wear her coat? When I hang up Little Miss's clothes in the closet, this always catches my eye..
 I can close my eyes and imagine her wearing this to church. I can imagine the black tights and black shiny shoes on her feet, a black hat to keep her sweet little head warm and gloves for her precious hands.
24 months, she would be 24 months now, she would have looked like a little model and I am certain she would have worn it for our 2010 Christmas cards. Most of the time I imagine her as a 9 month old baby, but occasionally I can think of her older, her 'adjusted' age. I wonder what she would look like, what she would sound like, would she be loud or shy? Would she be talking well? potty training? My heart aches to know these things, I wish I knew someone who could sketch a pic of her adjusted age, like they do for the children who are missing and abducted..I wish I could see her one more time. a glimpse.

I am praying that next winter Little miss is ours and we can put her in this coat for our 2011 Christmas cards, that I can post them, because she will be ours and no longer 'foster'..that is our prayer anyway..Lord, let us have a little girl long enough to be a toddler, long enough to fill this coat....

7 comments:

Holly said...

What a precious coat with the little scottie dogs!! I remember always wearing scottie dogs when I was little. I pray that she will be able to wear that next Christmas!

Heather said...

Such a sweet little coat! I know Ella would've been stunning in it. I hope that your newest addition gets to stay with you and wear this!

blessedmomto8 said...

What a sweet post and precious coat! Praying along side you!
HUGS! Francesca just did my blog too :)

Marshmallow Circus said...

This made me cry. When I heard about my two girls I bought two necklaces. It was a whim and I did not know that my wish would come true, and that they would come to live with us. They will wear their necklaces on adoption day. I hope your dream of this dress comes true! God bless you and sending prayers.

Michelle said...

Jen that was so beautifully written. That coat is adorable!!! I hope that you do get to keep that LO and next winter we will be looking at her adorable face in that beautiful coat!!!

Tiffany Lockette said...

Praying for you Jen.

Mary said...

Ella would have been so cute. Praying that you will have your little one in that coat.