Saturday, April 17, 2010

mixed emotions..

In our resource parenting class today, the topic was loss and grief and being a loss manager for the kids we will take into our homes.. it.was.heavy. I listened and could not chime in..if I spoke they would start..one tried to sneak out here and there by I would wipe it away before they could be released..There was a stick person on a page and we had little stickies to describe things that are important to us.. and we filled our page and the last one was to describe a positive character trait about ourselves.. So I have always been told I was fun and easy going. so I put this..and one by one we took them off of our page and the last one was to take off this character trait, because without all of the things that makes us up, most likely that will change.. Yes it changed.. I did not lose everything, but I lost 1 of the 2 of my everything..and I can assure you, as of late, FUN would not be used to describe me..I miss the old care-free person I once was..It literally is like that part of me is gone too.. anyway, We talked about these families, kids, their entire world being rocked by complete devastation..and everything in my heart and mind was affirmed..this is what is right, I feel as though we have the tools to help, to acknowledge and validate their pain and heal together.. they are broken, and we are broken..it just makes sense.. I am somewhat numb this afternoon/ evening..feeling a little heart sick with a little hope for the future..

8 comments:

Heather said...

What a rollercoster ride of emotions. It makes sense though doesn't it. You helping others while healing yourself and them. It makes sense to me.

PB&J said...

You have an amazing gift to offer. Such understanding and so much love.

Christy said...

It's so hard to think about who we used to be and who we are now-I tend to think of my life in terms of "before" and "after"....it's just hard.

Franchesca Cox said...

You will be amazing at this. I know that must have been heart-wrenching to hear that part about loss and grief. Thinking of you!

XO

Tiffany Lockette said...

I think you will do an amazing job helping others and one day realize that you helped yourself along the way. I am praying for strength for you.

Mary said...

Your grief and depth of emotion will make you so good at this.

With Out My Punkin said...

What you know will help so many.

Holly said...

I have no doubt that you could really help any child that comes into your home deal with everything they have been through. I know you would understand them like not many people could.