my grandma or as Cayden calls her "maw maw" was one of Ella's greatest fans.. from the get-go, she is the one who coined our term "Ella's world" where everything is pink, purple, bubbles, castles, unicorns and all things girly.. :) Before she got sick and was colicky, she would tell Ella "this world stinks, they made you leave Ella's world to come here?!" and Ella would look at her like "finally someone to understand me" lol.. when she would cry, mawmaw would blame me or ninny for doing something to her... it brought mawmaw to tears each time we had to check her blood sugar.. I would explain that I know it makes her cry, but she will feel bad if it bottoms out, which she knew this, but she said she just didn't think it was fair.. which it wasn't and it broke my heart too.. she is one of the many people who lost a piece of themselves when Ella returned home in May.. she does like I do and writes down what she is feeling in a note book or journal..just to get it out of her head and into the universe.. she wrote the below poem for me and Jay..she too has lost a child, my aunt Gayle passed at 38 years young from cervical cancer and grandma told me that is the worst pain she has ever experienced..she has lost a spouse, parents and siblings..and nothing compares to losing a child (no matter thier age)..anyway thought I would share...
Ella's Birthday 8/21/09 ... C, mawmaw and Ella all wrapped up..
I had to leave you dear ones,
But please don't be so sad.
I'm healthy and happy in Heaven,
Can't you just be a little glad?
There's family here and boy do they love me,
I want you to know that Jesus is holding my hand,
although I love and miss you
I know one day we'll be together again
No pain, no tears, no sorrow
laughter and joy is all that I see
mommy and daddy, I still love you
and I know how much you love me
The love will stay and comfort you,
though for a time, we'll be apart
But I know until I see you again
I'll hold a special place in your heart..