Thursday, August 6, 2009

15 days..

Aug 21, 2009 (Friday) Ella would be 1 year old.. we are celebrating by delivering bears and balloons to the childrens hospital that afternoon..and that evening having a cookout and balloon release for close friends and family...thanks to those who have already volunteered to help, I will post here and on her facebook page on the details when they are more clear..anyone is welcome to join us and deliver =) thanks also to those who have asked and are going to donate funds to help by the stuff (and if anything is left I will send to UMDF in Ella's name..)We have such great friends and family..

As each day approaches I think about what I "should" be doing..such as making preparations for a big 1 year birthday breaks my heart every day I wake up with out her and I miss her so much.. I know this year of firsts will be the hardest (or so I hear).. I would have never imagined that she wouldn't be here to turn 1 on that morning we met her for the first time.. I feel moody and extra sensitive, and each day closer to Aug 21,2009 it seems to intensify.. its not fair and not right.. but I must face what I am given.. and I choose to help others in their time of need.. I so wish I could do more.. maybe one day we can be independently wealthy and give more to research a cure for this awful disease and donate to the childrens hospital, that kept her alive and pretty well for 8months and 29 days.. I have no doubt with out all of the doctors and nurses we would have lost her in January if not for them..

I just can't believe we don't still have her with us.. it kills me..


Anonymous said...

Jen that's a beautiful gesture. You know as well as anyone that those small personal touches mean so much to people when their world's are upside down. Spread Ella's sunshine. Love ya Shelley

Heather said...

Your birthday plans are wonderful. How generous of a person are you to think of others in their time of need. Jen you are remarkable woman and I am so sorry that you are having the pain and loss of baby Ella. I pray for you daily and will continue.

Thinking of you with hard days to come.

Stephanie said...

Jen-your entire family is in my thoughts and prayers in the coming weeks. I think what you are doing is absolutely amazing and you are making such a difference in so many lives. Ella is proud of her mommy!