sometimes it hits you..

and I know what I know in my heart, but my brain takes me away and I look to myself for answers and blame myself for everything that is going on, and I take it all in and don't let it out, just keep it in the small box until I feel like I am going to explode, I hate it.. I hate that I cant talk about things I feel without feeling like I am just going to die sometimes.. I say all of that to say this.. I was just cleaning house and Addison Roads song "hope now" came on and I've heard it, but never listened to it, really listened to it.. and I did today and I just started crying, and it reminded me, even though I KNOW it in my heart, but this is all too big for me to handle on my own, and I shouldnt have to.. I can be a stronger and better mom to my kids during this storm, if I hand some of it over to our Lord.. he is the only one that can help us, provide a miracle, or take her home to him, it is out of our hands, so it is only natural to just appreciate the borrowed time we have with her and savor it, until one or the other happens.. so I added a playlist to my blog, I normally think they are pretty annoying since not everyone listens to the same stuff.. anywho.. take a listen and you may get what the random jabbering means..

here is the part that got to me..


When my life is like a storm
Rising waters all I want is the shore
You say I'll be ok and
Make it through the rain
You are my shelter from the storm

(CHORUS)
Everything rides on hope now
Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com
Everything rides on faith somehow
When the world has broken me down
Your love sets me free

I am not my own
I've been carried by you all my life.....