Yesterday we went to the fertility specialist and had our "getting to know you" appointment.. He is a super nice guy..He is friends with Jay's uncle and is familiar with everything that has gone on.. we discussed our options..and here they are..
In-vitro with embryonic studies..just like IVF, except they send in the embryos and they are tested for the depletion and they will only implant the healthy ones..
artificial insimination and fertilization drugs .. Jay and I are both carriers and so each time we were to get pregnant there is a 25% chance of repeating the past year.. but BOTH parents have to be carriers..if we were to go to a bank or somewhere else for the "men's addition" the chances are very slim that they would be a carrier and would hopefully result in a healthy child..
I did tell him that we tried for several years to even get pregnant with Ella, despite clomid and other natural methods.. He then told me that I had probably gotten pregnant several times, and just miscarried without knowing it.. that often the embryos that have a genetic disposition will abort themselves early on.. broke.my.heart...if it were possible to break anymore..it happened.. I got in the car and just cried..I hate my body for making my daughter sick, I hate it for having this genetic "glitch"... I felt sad and sick all day..
Adoption.. we have not ruled this out completely.. I am confident that I could love another as my own.. it is a lengthy *yet worth while* process..and I love the idea of giving a child love and happiness that otherwise may not have a chance at it..
As of right now, we are pretty sure we know what we are going to do, but are still praying about it and trying to figure out what is right for us.. I know whatever we decide will have its own critics, I am not asking for opinions.. just prayers for the Lord to lead us in the direction that is right for our family and for us as we continue to grieve and are learning to cope with our new normal..