Thursday, November 5, 2009

where we are right now..

Yesterday we went to the fertility specialist and had our "getting to know you" appointment.. He is a super nice guy..He is friends with Jay's uncle and is familiar with everything that has gone on.. we discussed our options..and here they are..

In-vitro with embryonic studies..just like IVF, except they send in the embryos and they are tested for the depletion and they will only implant the healthy ones..

artificial insimination and fertilization drugs .. Jay and I are both carriers and so each time we were to get pregnant there is a 25% chance of repeating the past year.. but BOTH parents have to be carriers..if we were to go to a bank or somewhere else for the "men's addition" the chances are very slim that they would be a carrier and would hopefully result in a healthy child..

I did tell him that we tried for several years to even get pregnant with Ella, despite clomid and other natural methods.. He then told me that I had probably gotten pregnant several times, and just miscarried without knowing it.. that often the embryos that have a genetic disposition will abort themselves early on.. broke.my.heart...if it were possible to break anymore..it happened.. I got in the car and just cried..I hate my body for making my daughter sick, I hate it for having this genetic "glitch"... I felt sad and sick all day..

Adoption.. we have not ruled this out completely.. I am confident that I could love another as my own.. it is a lengthy *yet worth while* process..and I love the idea of giving a child love and happiness that otherwise may not have a chance at it..

As of right now, we are pretty sure we know what we are going to do, but are still praying about it and trying to figure out what is right for us.. I know whatever we decide will have its own critics, I am not asking for opinions.. just prayers for the Lord to lead us in the direction that is right for our family and for us as we continue to grieve and are learning to cope with our new normal..

11 comments:

Heather said...

Jen- I will be praying for your decision that it comes true.

I just want to let you know that I am adopted. Within family though, but it is a great opprotunity that many children might not be able to get. The loving home that you can provide might not come to them.

Anyway, I am glad that you have some answers and I will pray that you come to the decision you want. No matter what that is, there will always be people who think you should do something else. You and Jay have to do what is right for your family.

Missing Kasey said...

Sending positive vibes your way. What every you decide I will be your cheerleader! Don't you hate when people judge you on your decisions! ((hugs))

Malory said...

I am sure the decision you decide upon will be the best for your family. Follow your heart & you cannot go wrong. Wishing you peace with your decision.

Colleen said...

Good luck with any decision you make!

2awesomekidz said...

I am praying for you guys! Whatever decision you make will be the right one for your family! Thinking of you always!
Tami

Tiffany Lockette said...

I am praying for you guys! You will know what to do when the time is right. Hugs.

Holly said...

You definitely have my prayers. I know that you don't want to have to walk this road again and I hope you never do. Sending you ♥

Franchesca Cox said...

You are in my prayers, Jen! My heart is breaking with yours.

xoxo

Nan & Mike said...

Its all we can do, make the best informed decision we know how to. Best of luck whatever you decide and we are behind you 100% :) Hugs, Nan xo

Kristy said...

No one should ever judge you for the decisions you make. I'm sorry that is something you have to deal with in your life. I know how hard it is to not have others, family members support you in your journey to have more children.

I hope whatever decision you make, will be the right one for YOU. No one else.

*hugs*

Akul's mama said...

Your decision is to love and care ...that is a wonderful decision. How can anyone judge that? Hugssss and love.exi