Wednesday, September 23, 2009

interesting site...

I have met several lovely ladies that are treading the same water as we are.. I have seen the term Baby Lost mommas and I think that is appropriate.. Anyhow..reading their blogs and their stories is both inspirational and so heartbreaking at the same time.. I am eventually going to list them on a blog roll.. there are so many.. It is bittersweet to me.. I like being able to feel and know that I am not alone, but it is disheartening to know the reason that brings us together..

Anyhow today I read Mary's blog and saw this site and the verses she had posted and of course had to try it out myself..

Ella's~Proverbs 8:21 -bestowing wealth on those who love me and making their treasuries full.

For so long I worried about having another child because I did not think it was possible to love another like I love Cayden.. I rationalized my not being able to get pregnant for so long as this.. We kept trying though, I knew in my heart that I NEEDED another child.. and from the moment I knew of her, and especially felt her kick the first time, saw her sweet face, I was so enriched just by her presence.. SHE COMPLETED me in every single way... I felt whole for the first time in a long yes this verse absolutely reigns true about my sweet princess..

Caydens~John 3:30-He must become greater; I must become less.
I have no doubt that Cayden is going to be a very godly man..We are guilty of not taking him to church like we should.. when Ella was sick and now that she is gone, I find it hard to be there.. I feel as though people avoid us (that taboo of speaking her name) or the pity is my deal, not his.. He loves going to church. . After Ella passed we spoke about being saved alot and what it meant.. We were out with my best friend Erin and he said "Erin, are you saved?" we were both taken aback by his sincerity..He has since asked just about everyone we know.. He's not afraid of the unknown and has complete faith in our lord.. I admire him so much and couldn't be more proud of our little guy. .
Jays~Romans 8:4-...the righteous requirements of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the sinful nature but according to the Spirit.
I love my husband so much for all he is and all he has done for us.. I love his faith and his constant desire to follow our lord. He is better at "letting God" than I am.. I worry and worry and he knows we are not given more than we can handle.. He is a constant reminder of how blessed I am to have a cross bearing husband.. I could not ask for more. .
Mine~1 Corinthians 10:26- for, “The earth is the Lord's, and everything in it.”
**sigh** I know this and have always known this. .and have been so reminded that Ella was HIS and always has been HIS.. All that I have is his and he will do with it as he see's fit..whether it hurts or not.. When she was sick I remember praying to him "SHE IS MINE!! LET ME KEEP HER!!' If its possible to scream during a silent prayer, I did it.. all of the time.. when she passed I am sure I said it out loud.. "you can't have her... I need her..." more than that though..she needed him, it was in his plan for her to be here 8months and 29 days.. she was ready to return home, even though it hurt me, I knew she belonged to him.. my heart has taken a bit more convincing..
Anyhow check the site out and feel free to share what your verse was..


Just Breathe said...

I was there today too. I have seen others post the verse of their child but didn't know where they were getting them from. I'm glad she showed the link.

Franchesca Cox said...

Those verses are amazing and I love the one for Ella. Perfect.

Bree said...

Hi Jen,
Just wanted to let you know that Ella's butterfly is up. :)

Debbie said...

Thanks for visiting Hudson's site.

I am so sorry for your loss...her face is precious and beautiful and can only imagine how painful the void must be.
I am sure she is among the angels holding the tiniest of hands, like Hudson's, her on earth, as they go through the trials of this disease.
I will hold your family close in prayer.
Blessing and Hugs...Debbie

Lea said...

Hi Jen,

Thank you for your comment on my blog. It means a lot.

Your Ella Bella is just gorgeous.... I am so sorry she is not here with you, where she belongs.

Strength to you.

Mary said...

So glad you found the site and found it comforting.